The Lord calls me to be a dead man. Dead men don't have a voice nor do they do anything in their own will. Dead men have to be told what to do and they also don't have emotion. They don't complain and they don't grumble.they just listen and do, nothing more and nothing less. They have submitted themselves to the way of the Lord. Submit, "to stop trying to fight or resist something: to agree to do or accept something that you have been resisting or opposing. In respect of what the Lord calls us to do I have to submit just like that. I have to willingly and openly submit to others without complaint and without a bad thought in my heart. The Lord looks at my heart, not what I am doing for the face I might be putting on. Because I am people but for the Lord. If a friend asks me to do something and should be acting as if Jesus Himself had asked me to do it. My heart should be filled with the joy of the Lord always and all that I do should reflect that. Even the smallest details of my life. I am called to submit myself to the way the Lord (James 4:7) and all else will follow. The Lord will fill my heart with joy and strength. He will give me the strength to submit because I can't do that in my own strength. All strength is of the Lord and to follow his call and to become a dead man it must be done with his strength in me.
The Lord’s heart is a vast ocean of love and mercy but more often than not I forget how deep and how wide that is. Both bitterness and jealousy are things that I struggle with on a daily basis. I have a hard time forgiving people the same way that my Savior forgave me. I struggle to not be jealous of the people around me. Being a girl there is always something telling me me that I have to be the prettiest and that I have to be the skinniest, but why? If the Lord is perfection He can not possibly create word that is imperfect. “I praise, you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works. My soul knows it very well.” My God doesn't make mistakes. Selfishness is another one of those things that can try to take root in my life. I can look at what I think I have and think that I cant give that up because I worked so hard for it. But you know what, it wasn't my work. Nothing that I do has ever been done in my own power. All of my power is of the Lord and who am I
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