Being in a state of contentment where I can make it through most of the day without being discontent is far from my comprehension, let alone living in that contentment. Sitting at the Lord’s feet waiting PATIENTLY for my next instruction, if I'm being honest, blows my mind. How much stuff do I own that I don't even need? How many things did I buy just to buy? Endless. There are currently about 20 boxes sitting in my room at my parents house filled with stuff that I had in my old apartment. Things that I didn't need but bought for the sake of buying them. When packing my things to come here to Guatemala, about .5% of that stuff came with me. About .5% of that stuff I actually found useful in my day to day life. It has taken me a long time to realize that contentment isn't found in worldly items nor anything else of the world. It is something that I have to keep giving to the Lord every day. I have to allow myself to shift my focus and find my contentment in His love and I can only find that at the foot of the cross. I can only find that at the end of myself. I can only find contentment when I fall to my knees knowing that the world has absolutely nothing to offer me. The world is filled with corruption, greed, pride, lust, selfishness, ect. I will never be content in the world and the more I realize that the closer I am to where the Lord is calling me to be. The closer I am to finding my contentment in the Lord and the Lord alone.
Isaiah 43:1 “But now thus saith the Lord that created thee, O Jacob, and he that formed thee, O Israel, Fear not: for I have redeemed thee, I have called thee by thy name; thou art mine.”
What a beautiful thing is is to realize that the Lord of all creation calls me by name. He knows the littlest things bout me, even the things that I don't know. He knows my thoughts before i think them. He knows my actions before I do them. He remembers things that I have forgotten and He knows my future. He knows my flaws. He knows my insecurities. He knows EVERYTHING. He doesn't just know my name but he knows it all. I find a lot of comfort in that but it is also an incredible reminder that I can not hide anything from God. He knows everything that goes on in my heart. He knows the dark areas of my heart and He wants nothing more than for me to allow Him into those dark places. I’ll admit though, I struggle with it sometimes. Dying to self is a daily task, it isn't a once for all thing. It’s waking up everyday and allowing the Lord into every situation. Unfortunately somedays I wake up and part of my heart is hardened towards the Lord. Sometimes I even neglect to give ...
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