The Lord’s heart is a vast ocean of love and mercy but more often than not I forget how deep and how wide that is. Both bitterness and jealousy are things that I struggle with on a daily basis. I have a hard time forgiving people the same way that my Savior forgave me. I struggle to not be jealous of the people around me. Being a girl there is always something telling me me that I have to be the prettiest and that I have to be the skinniest, but why? If the Lord is perfection He can not possibly create word that is imperfect. “I praise, you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works. My soul knows it very well.” My God doesn't make mistakes. Selfishness is another one of those things that can try to take root in my life. I can look at what I think I have and think that I cant give that up because I worked so hard for it. But you know what, it wasn't my work. Nothing that I do has ever been done in my own power. All of my power is of the Lord and who am I to be selfish with what the Lord has blessed me with. Those thoughts are not from the Lord. Those are areas of my life that I allow the enemy to have an inch and before I know it, He has taken a whole mile. I can not possibly put order to my life with my bitterness, my jealousy, and my selfishness. Those are things that I must past to the Lord and allow him to uproot. God’s wisdom and Gods ways is with our flaw. God has a beautiful plan for my life and all I need to do is obey His call, be obedient, and give Him the areas of my life in which I struggle with, with is essentially all of the areas because I am unable to make something beautiful out of my flesh.
As I sit here in Antigua Guatemala on an extremely chilly morning in the court yard looking at the top of the Agua volcano I wonder how I ended up here. This obviously wasn't in my own power, both God and I knew that I needed something radical in order to turn my life around. God, who knows all, picked me up out of Hanover Massachusetts and Flew me 8 hours south to Central America. God’s wisdom is abundantly greater than my own, and intact I wouldn't have an ounce of wisdom without Him. My God can see what happened, what is happening, and what is going to happen. He knows the way for me. The Lord has an amazing plan for me and He has that because He is wise. “For I know the plans I have for you, declares the Lord, plans for welfare (peace) and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” Jeremiah 29:11. God already knows my future because He lives outside of time. He has a plan and I have no idea what that is. God has mad me some promises for my life and I know that my God...
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