Steadfast. Being and staying steadfast. steadfastness has always been one of my bigger if not my biggest struggle. Being patient and waiting on the Lord and His perfect timing is where I tend to fall and slip up the most. “Okay God, if you aren't going to come through for me I’ll just have to do it myself because I know better.” When I go outside of the will of God and I blatantly decide to do things in my own timing that is basically what I am saying to God. I am saying that “God, Your plans aren't good enough for me I want more than what you have to offer me”. In Nehemiah, we are told how he has this great desire to go help in Jerusalem and you know what he does? He waits, he waits for 4 months, tells nobody of His struggle, he only bring it to God through prayer. Eventually, the Lord bring the situation around where He talks to the King and the King releases him from the duties of a cupbearer to go and help the people of Jerusalem. Nehemiah didn't get tired of waiting on God. I’m sure that it wasn't all rainbows and unicorns for Nehemiah but never the less Nehemiah waited on the Lord and didn't questions God’s goodness, mercy, and power. Nehemiah simply trusted that his prayers were heard and that God was going to address the situation in His perfect timing. Moral of the story, I just need to wait on the Lord. I need to trust that the Lord is good and that He knows the absolute best for me in every single situation and circumstances that I could possibly imagine. My ways are rubbish compared to what the Lord has in mind for me.
The Lord’s heart is a vast ocean of love and mercy but more often than not I forget how deep and how wide that is. Both bitterness and jealousy are things that I struggle with on a daily basis. I have a hard time forgiving people the same way that my Savior forgave me. I struggle to not be jealous of the people around me. Being a girl there is always something telling me me that I have to be the prettiest and that I have to be the skinniest, but why? If the Lord is perfection He can not possibly create word that is imperfect. “I praise, you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made. Wonderful are your works. My soul knows it very well.” My God doesn't make mistakes. Selfishness is another one of those things that can try to take root in my life. I can look at what I think I have and think that I cant give that up because I worked so hard for it. But you know what, it wasn't my work. Nothing that I do has ever been done in my own power. All of my power is of the Lord and who am I...
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